untitled

i can't sleep, its 12:35 a.m. and theres a picture of you in my head. i'm kissing you goodbye and you're telling me of your plan for us. we're gonna take a drive in your new ride up to the north shore or around the island. something like that. i laugh. half hoping the words you were saying were true.

and the only thought going through my mind at this moment a year and a half later was did you know that day that you would never see me again. and maybe if i knew i'd never see you again i would have kissed you a second longer, remembered your face, your smell. did you think to yourself that okay, i'll just drop off this camera and that'll be the last of it. was that your plan? because i never heard from you again and there is this part of me that is still that messed up confused person that is looking for you. and i've heard of you, about you, and fuck, now you live 5 minutes away from me and right now you're probably in your bed and i feel like running over there and tapping on your window and asking you if that was your plan. and do you ever miss me because i miss you and was it all real and are you happy. and do you ever look for me cause when i'm driving down the highway i look for you.

yeah, isn't it sad? i look for you. only god knows how we could be so close yet so far.