music

AP: Deux années...et j'ai toujours beaucoup plus à appendre.

Good God I love music. I think I would wither away without it. I mean that in all seriousness. Today I spent practically the whole day downloading songs and making cd's. A Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Bilal, and Common mix for Paul and a Soul mix for moi amoung others. Maybe I'm obsessed.

Then I made a list of all the cd's I would like to buy but I stopped at two pages because then that reminded me of my book of 200 cds I let Regg's sister borrow that she never returned. The last time I remember looking at it in her room half the freaking cds were gone...probably lost them while in a drugged-out haze or lent them out to her druggie friends. Its my fault for lending them to her. Its a perfect symbol for how completely lost I was at the time. You see, I never lent my whole cd book out to ANYONE, not even friends. Just for the simple fact that I LOVE music, I invested alot of money in them, and I didn't want them to be scratched and ruined. But...hey...go ahead Regg's sister, take the whole book. I DON'T MIND. Retarded. Regg knew better. The whole time he was shaking his head, "Don't let her borrow it." But OH NO I let her have it.

One of the best things about music is that when you listen to it, it has the ability to bring you back to the place and time when you first heard it. Along with all the memories and feelings you had at that moment. It does for me anyway. When I hear "Back to Good" by Matchbox 20, "Jane Says" by Jane's Addiction, Sneaker Pimps, or anything by Sublime amoung others I think of working at the hotel and Grant. Probably because all I did was listen to 101.9 at work and we spent alot of time in the car...ahem, talking. And I literally FEEL all the things that I felt at that time. Freedom. The excitement of being with someone other than Rob. All those memories. Good memories.

Sometimes its sucks though. For whenever I hear "How do you mend a broken heart" by Al Green, Wu-Tang Clan, any 80's slow song, or anything sung by Regg's father, I think of Regg. The first one was the song he was listening to in the car the first night he took me home from work. The second and third are two of the cds I made for him which we listened to over and over while driving. And the last just because songs by his father can pop up on the radio at any time and Regg sounds like him. Why does it suck? Because I'm probably not fully over him yet. Because I don't want to be reminded of him. Bleh.

Anyhow...I guess what I'm saying is I love music and any art that can draw up so many feelings and emotions is worth being obsessed about. Worth praising. Don't you think?