pathetic

Tonight I'm looking forward to going out with Ang. I'm well past due for a night out with the girls. Hopefully she won't tempt me with any weed tonight, cause the last time we went to Mai Tai I was way too stoned for my own good. Man, I just want to go out and have some fun. Drink lots, smoke lots, and talk shit like we do...like I can only with Ang. Gonna be fun, gonna be fun.

And if anyone asks me tonight, i'm single.

I'm still in my weird angry/hurt mood. This morning I was listening to that Jagged Edge song, "Say Goodbye" and tears were running down my face. I hate it! I just want to be one of those strong women. You know, I just want to be able to come to some kind of peace, some kind perspective to the whole thing. But all I can think of is that he never called.

I mean, just a few entries ago, I'm talking about how I know he loves me and everything is fine, everythings okay...blah, blah, blah. And here I am, back to old feelings again.

And the thing is, I know eventually he will call. And what will I do? What will I say? It'll be my test. The thing is, I'm not really good at hiding my feelings...and

Oh, fuck, I'm so tired of talking about this already. Its like a never ending circle. Happy, sad, angry. Happy, sad angry. And confused. Perpetually confused.

Pathetic.