i'm making her sick with my sadness

Mom said I'm starting to make her sick...the way I am. I guess she's tired of looking at me and I'm tired of being looked at. How do I be happy again? Things are so screwed up. I just don't want to move. Maybe you're trying to let me go. Maybe this is your way of doing it. I try to tell myself I will never speak to you again. That things are over and you'll never call me. I tell myself that if I don't expect you to call, I won't be disappointed. It'll be easier if I never hear from you again. But I don't think its working. I can still see us laughing! You could make me laugh about anything. Even through all your pain you found humour in things. The three of us, laughing over pizza...about a story we've told a million times. The way people looked at us...wanting in on the story...just getting a kick out of watching how we enjoyed each others company. I miss laughing. I miss your company. I miss being happy.